Careless Wishes Read online

  There are two ways to access the Between. First, you could simply step off the path of a rath—a fairy mound that hides a passage between kingdoms or realms. Other fairies would be lost in the dark matter that lies off the path of a rath, but us Twilight Fey can navigate the emptiness, even Cat can. The second way is a bit more complicated. You must first be in a between place; this can be the line between land and sea or between kingdoms or—and this was the method usually employed—a fairy could hover just above the ground, a place between earth and sky. Once in that between place, you could then access the true Between, but only at twilight—either dusk or dawn—when our magic is at its strongest.

  The Seelie have the day and the Unseelie own the night—that's when their magic is at its most powerful—but Twilight Fairies only get a brief span of time between the two. Because of that, the power surge we get is condensed. No fairy goes up against a Twilight Fairy during twilight—it's beyond foolish. Unless, of course, they are Twilight too.

  Instead of carrying Rowan, I held her hand so she could mostly direct the Between on her own. I could lead another Twilight Fairy through the In-Between if I needed to—which is how I was teaching Rowan to twilight—but I couldn't take a non-Twilight passenger. Cat couldn't levitate but she was a Twilight Puka so I could help her. I had her perch her back paws on my feet and her front paws on my shoulders—a move that Conri, a knight on my Star's Guard, had taught me. When twilight came, my daughter and I used our beag magic of Air to levitate just above the ground and access the Between. Shahzadi, held in her father's arms, waved goodbye. It was the last thing I saw before I was taken by the Between. In moments, we were gone, streaming across the planet toward the Twilight Kingdom.

  We came out of the Between to silence.

  The Fairy Realm, FR for short, is a universe containing a planet, of the same name, that's aligned with Earth. This means that its landmasses roughly coincide in placement with those on Earth. We have the same time zones and similar weather conditions in each area. Craos-Teine shares its location with the Marshal Islands while Castle Twilight is aligned with San Francisco. This means that although we had left Unseelie around 7 PM, in Twilight it was only about 4 AM. We'd gained fifteen hours.

  “Come on, you two,” I waved Cat and Rowan out of my bedroom, where we had arrived, and down the curving hallway toward Rowan's room.

  Previously, my father and I had been the only ones living in the Royal Residence, which consists of four tower rooms connected by a central, square collection of family rooms: a sitting room, library, and dining room. Now that Killian and Rowan were in our lives—and my Dad's consort, Eibhleann, as well—the Residence was full. My cousin Bress lived with us too, but he had a room on the fourth floor just below us.

  Every tower room had the same layout: a central bedroom that was large enough for a sleeping area, a sitting area, and a dining area, then three rooms branch off that: a bathroom, a dressing room, and an office. Except in Rowan's case, the office was her playroom. I loved that she had a separate playroom because it meant fewer toys littering the bedroom. It's nice to be able to shut a door and pretend the mess doesn't exist.

  Rowan went straight to the playroom now, bypassing the bed that was a smaller version of mine, its lavender, spiraled posts twined with living, night-blooming jasmine. The skylight was still dark but I had turned on the fairy lights when we came in so we couldn't see the stars through it. I heard Rowan's little voice as she spoke the word that turned the lights on in her playroom. I went to stand in the doorway and watch her.

  Cat shuffled by me and flopped down beside our girl to nuzzle Rowan's cheek as she picked up a couple of dolls and started bopping them about silently. I didn't get a lot of time to play with dolls when I was her age but when I did, this was exactly how I did so. All of the conversations they had went on in my mind. It wasn't because I was shy or an only child, though that last bit is true. It was simply because I didn't want to disturb my parents. Extinguishers train their children to be soldiers, and I had learned from a young age that keeping a low profile could mean the difference between life and death.

  Thank the Gods my daughter had other reasons for the way she played. Nice reasons. Non-violent reasons.

  I frowned as I thought about my childhood. I hadn't known it was different from other children's. Because of that, I'd never felt a lack. I felt loved and smart and strong. But looking back, I could only cringe. I did want my children to feel loved and smart and strong, but I didn't want them to have the childhood—or lack thereof—that I did. I wanted them to play with dolls that didn't have marks drawn on them to show the most vulnerable points in a fairy's body. I wanted them to learn things about their world without worrying about protecting it. After they had played and laughed and grown into the people they were meant to be, then they could learn about combat... if they wanted to.

  I went into the room and sat down beside my daughter. I picked up one of her Fey-made dolls—exquisite things, every one of them—to play with her for the few hours I had left until sunrise. I'd be visiting Rowan's uncle and brother soon, and I was looking forward to it. It had been three weeks since I'd seen Daxon and Caelum, and I missed my charmers. But I'd also miss Rowan, Shahzadi, Falcas, and their fathers. Tiernan was right; we had to go back to the three-day rotation.

  “Grandpa's going out to check on the Elf Village today,” I said. “Do you want to go with him?”

  “Can I see Dagur and Hinrik?”

  “Yes, I'm sure they'll be there. It's where they live after all.”

  “Okay.”

  Dagur and Hinrik are brothers; one's a Dark Elf and the other is Light. As far as Seelie and Unseelie Fey were concerned, this made them Unseelie and Seelie respectively. As far as the Elves were concerned, this made them family. The Dark and Light Elves had been forced to live apart, regardless of relation, for thousands of years even though they have always considered themselves to be one race. They didn't care what magic an Elf had or what color his skin was; an Elf is an Elf. In my opinion, that made them more enlightened than the other fairies. Hell, it made them more enlightened than a lot of humans. The Elves had even formed communities on Earth so they could live together. But I wanted them to have a place to live in Fairy so my father had given them land in our kingdom to build upon, and the Elves had come in droves.

  Their town was still growing—both beneath and above the ground. The Dark Elves, who prefer to live underground, had dug out caverns beneath the town the Light Elves inhabited. Dagur, my favorite of the brothers, loved showing Rowan around the maze of caverns and tunnels. My daughter had a little crush on him so he could have showed her around a garbage heap and she still would have happily followed. Rowan always made sure to ask about Dagur's brother too, though. Not because she was embarrassed about her affection for Dagur but rather because she didn't want to leave Hinrik out. That's my girl. There's no shame in love but there is in cruelty.

  “Daddy should be home later today,” I went on.

  “I know,” Rowan said softly and let go of her doll. It hung in midair, then floated over to dance with mine. “He promised.”

  “Yes, and Daddy always keeps his promises.” I smiled and used my Air magic to lift my doll as well so that the two hovered together, twirling and tilting. “Very good, Rowan. Your beags are coming along well.”

  Yep, this was exactly how I used to play with my dolls too. Except I used levitation and apportation instead of Air.

  “Mommy, do you ever get scared?”

  “For Daddy?”

  Rowan nodded but didn't look up from her doll.

  “No. Never.”

  She looked up in surprise.

  “Daddy is very strong and has many friends who are strong too. They help him,” I told her. “You know what he can do.”

  “Turn into a really big snake,” Rowan said solemnly.

  “Yes and even without that ability, he's a great warrior He can fight with two swords at the same time or even with his bare hands if
he has to. Anu chose him to protect me, remember?”

  “I remember,” she whispered. “Anu picked Daddy to look after you, just like he looks after me.”

  “That's right, sweetheart. And if a god chose your father over everyone else, I think we can trust that Daddy is going to be just fine.”

  “Okay.” Rowan smiled brilliantly at me.

  “Were you afraid for him?”

  She shrugged.

  “How long have you been scared, baby?” I stroked her hair.

  “Just a little while,” Rowan said. “Ever since I saw him get hurt.”

  I blinked. Froze. “When did you see Daddy get hurt?”

  “I don't know.” She frowned as she tried to remember. “A few days ago.”

  “Baby, we were in Unseelie a few days ago,” I reminded her gently.

  “I know. I didn't see him like that. Not with my eyes.”

  “How did you see him?”

  “Here.” Rowan tapped her head. “I saw pictures.”

  Oh, fuck. My breath caught in my throat and my body went cold.

  “You saw a picture of Daddy in your head?” I whispered.

  “Uh-huh. He was fighting with people and they hurt him.” She frowned and looked up at me. “One of the men had a really big pearl.”

  “A big pearl?” I asked in confusion.

  “Like the ones on your necklace.” She nodded.

  “And he hit Daddy with the pearl?”

  “No. He didn't have to. The pearl made other people hurt Daddy.”

  “Rowan, were these pictures in your head very clear?”

  “It felt real,” she whispered.

  “Oh, honey.” I pulled her onto my lap. “You need to tell either me or your father or your grandfather whenever you see something like that, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said solemnly. “But, why? They're not real, are they? You said that Daddy can't be hurt.”

  “No, they're not real. They haven't happened yet but they could. But don't worry; because you saw it and told me about it, we can now stop it from happening.”

  Sometimes I lie to my children. I want them to feel safe and to grow up believing in the possibility of the good in people. No one wants to make cynics of their kids. But I try to tell them the truth—that there are bad things and bad people who exist in the Realms—when I think they can handle it. Because my kids know that their parents are stronger than those bad things and people. That we've fought them before and won. That if evil should ever come for them, we would protect them, and one day, they would be strong enough to protect themselves. Yeah, maybe it's a gentler version of the way I was raised. I suppose that no matter how hard we try to be different from our parents, they are ingrained in our minds and lay dormant in our blood—we can't help but channel them occasionally. And in most cases, that's not such a bad thing.

  “I saved Daddy?” Rowan blinked her snake eyes at me.

  “I think you did, sweetheart.”

  She smiled brightly. “Do you think I'll be able to become a snake like him?”

  “If your eyes are any indication, I'd say it was highly likely.” I nodded. “But just like the visions, you need to tell us about it. It's especially important with the shifting. As soon as you start feeling strange, tell your father, grandfather, or me. Transforming your body is dangerous and difficult, Row-Row. You're going to need someone to guide you through it.”

  “I promise I'll tell someone if I feel snaky.”

  “Good girl.” I slid her off my lap. “Now, you stay here while I call Daddy. I want to tell him what you saw.”

  “Okay.”

  I started to walk out of the room. Cat lifted her head and whined.

  “You stay too, Cat,” I said. “Watch over our girl for me.”

  Cat huffed and laid her head back down.

  “I'm going to check on her father,” I muttered as I left.

  Chapter Six

  I was trembling by the time I made it to my private office. It had been years since I'd been so scared and my body was confused. Do we run or fight? What was it that we do, Seren? I slid into a chair in front of the little table that holds my crystal ball and took a deep breath.

  “Get your shit together, Extinguisher!” I snapped at myself.

  I might be Fey royalty now but once an extinguisher, always an extinguisher. And the Extinguisher motto—Riamh eagla an dorchadas—means...

  “Never fear the darkness,” I whispered. “Whatever the fuck this is, we'll handle it.” Then I called out, “Killian Blair Firerain.”

  Killian doesn't go by his mór as most fairies do. He uses the human tradition instead and takes his non-magical surname from his parents. However, he does have a mór—the Firerain—that he had even before he was made into a Nathair-Sith and crystal balls somehow knew this. I'd had some trouble scrying him once and in desperation, I'd added his mór to his name. The scry had immediately gone through and now, I use it every time. I think perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Killian's not technically a Caster Witch anymore but a Twilight Fairy—the first Nathair-Sith—and that's what made his Witch magic into a mór.

  You might be wondering what a Caster Witch is but to tell you that, I'll have to tell you about Witches first. Witches are descended from Fairies but their Fey blood is so diluted that they seem to be human, even when a fairy tries to sense their race. Despite their overwhelming humanity, the Fey magic of their ancestors survived and even flourished in their blood, but only with the descendants of certain Fey races. The magic took on racial qualities and the descendants were divided by their unique abilities while also being united under a magical umbrella. To get technical, they became their own species, separate from humans, with their own races. They called themselves Witches and their races were labeled Clans. Together, these clans form the Coven, and the Coven created strict rules to protect its clans. One of these rules was that the clans would never interbreed.

  I think they feared what would happen to their magic if they had children of mixed heritage. But love knows no rules and when the inevitable happened and witches of different clans fell in love, those couples had a difficult decision to make: either they left the Coven or they left each other. Many of them decided to leave the Coven and those witches formed a group of their own that they called the Casters—a name that alluded to both their heritage and the fact that they had become outcasts. Anyway, these mixed-clan couples had children—powerful children, some of whom were Twilight Witches. Caster children had the blended magic of two Fey races in their blood and sometimes—like with Killian—those two races happened to be Seelie and Unseelie, just like with Twilight Fairies. Killian is one of those children.

  But here's the thing: as the descendants of Fairies, Witches have magical potential inside them. Their Fey DNA lies dormant in their blood, waiting for the spark of the Goddess to release its full potential. Just as I was transformed when I stepped into Fairy for the first time, so are Witches transformed when they come to FR. Witches of the Coven shift into the race of their ancestors. It was through these transformations that we learned what races the Clans were descended from. When this first happened, two witches had the unfortunate luck of learning that their clan—the Beckoning, whose members have the ability to raise the dead—was descended from Dullahans. Dullahans are some of the most hideous fairies in existence. I won't go into a description of them, just know that becoming one is horrifying.

  Only a few clans had been represented on this first witch foray into Fairy but because of the Beckoners, the remaining clans who weren't represented that day were too nervous to send any of their people in to discover what type of fairy they were descended from. This was especially true for the Caster children, who had the potential to become one of two races or even an unknown Twilight combination. For this reason, we tried to keep Killian out of Fairy. Tried and failed. He followed me in to protect me and that was how he got changed into a Twilight Nathair-Sith.

  Over time, a few brave witches volun
teered to make the trip to Fairy and discover their ancestors. We had suspicions based on the abilities of each clan and those suspicions were all confirmed. We now know for certain that the Flight is descended from Raven Mockers, the Pack from Cu-Sidhe, the Bite from Baobhan-Sith, the Storm from Sylphs, the Flame from Djinn, the Tide from Selkies, the Quake from Trolls, and, of course, the Beckoning Witches are descended from Dullahans. Killian is half Storm and half Flame which makes him the descendant of Sylphs and Djinn (in his case, Snake-Djinn). The combination turned him into a Nathair-Sith—a fairy who can shift into a giant snake... and who can also shift parts of his body into snake tails and other things I won't go into yet. I know, it sounds gross but believe me when I say that Killian knows how to work the snake thing. Speaking of which...