In the Nyx of Time Read online

  “The lack of it,” I whispered as I looked up into his peacock colored eye

  The greens shifted into blue and then purple. It was so comforting; staring into those colors. I felt as if I were home.

  “I've missed you, my sweet raven,” I whispered.

  “Oh, Gods; Sabine,” Odin said brokenly before he kissed me.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in tighter. Odin's mouth slashed across mine with trembling intensity; salty tears mixing with a passion that had been denied for centuries. I groaned as he lifted me and set me on the counter; shoving my thighs apart so he could get closer to me. My hands roamed the muscles in his back as if they'd done so thousands of times before, and memories surfaced, except this time, they were of him and me—this me. Odin was lying beneath me; looking up at me with two eyes. Was this our future? Did Odin regain his other eye? It was enough to jar me out of my passion and bring me back to reality.

  I gasped and pushed away from him. Odin went easily enough but his hands stayed on me, as did his intense stare. He was breathing hard, and his gaze had gone shaky.

  “I know,” he whispered. “That can't happen again. But thank you for the kiss, Vervain. Thank you for giving me one last embrace with my Sabine.”

  “I'm so sorry, Odin,” I said brokenly. “I love Thor, but I feel as if...”

  “I know.” He nodded. “But what's done is done; you married my son, and I will not come between you.” He eased away from me determinedly. “The past cannot be changed.”

  I frowned at his words and a shiver went through me.

  Can it not? An amused male voice asked in my head,

  I jerked around; looking for the interloper.

  I'm not there, Vervain, the voice said. You don't remember me, but my name is Alaric.

  Can I call you Al? I automatically quipped inside my head.

  The voice laughed. I knew they couldn't erase all of you; that's my girl!

  “Vervain?” Odin looked concerned.

  I blinked and hopped off the counter. “I'm fine; we'd better get some food out to them, or they're going to come in after us.”

  “Oh, right.” Odin took a deep, steadying breath and headed for the fridge.

  Now, listen up; your past has been changed. This is not the life you're meant to have.

  “What?” I hissed.

  “Excuse me?” Odin asked.

  “Oh... I think we're out of Spam,” I said.

  “Spam?” Odin made a face. “Thank goodness for that.”

  He went back to rifling through the fridge.

  You are meant to marry Odin, not Thor, Al went on. And don't interrupt. Make some coffee or something.

  I glanced at Odin as a tingle of rightness flowed through me. I felt the truth in what this person was saying.

  Consciousness, not person, he corrected. I'm the Consciousness of the Void, but never mind that for now. You're lucky you have me and Faerie, or this would have been way more confusing for you.

  Faerie? I asked as I began chopping vegetables for an omelet.

  Never mind her either, he said. There's not much we can do right now. Faerie and I are trying to figure out a way to get you back. Just know that this—all of this confusing crap that you're feeling—is your real life trying to remind you of who you are. Let it, Vervain. You must remember on your own; it will keep your true path alive. Forget, and it will be lost forever.

  I don't like the sound of that.

  Neither do I, V, Al said grimly. Neither do I.

  Chapter Eight

  After breakfast, we contacted the rest of the God Squad and met them in Hell. Well, not Hell exactly; the Greek Underworld, aka Hades. I've always thought that was odd; the whole place and man being called by the same name. But then, I've probably mentioned that before.

  I was still reeling from Odin's kiss and the revelations of the disembodied voice calling himself Alaric. I wasn't living my real life? How was that even possible? He had tried to explain it to me; something about vengeance and a god of time, but I couldn't understand how a life already lived could just be taken away and replaced by another.

  But I didn't have the time to worry about it, and there was nothing I could do either way. Alaric said that I could try to hunt down a goddess named Nyx and her cohort, Aion, but what would I tell Thor? Hey, I'm not supposed to be living this life, can you help me find these gods so I can get back to being married to your father?

  Odin. Every time I looked at him, more memories returned, and not all of them were from my life as Sabine. I believed Al, even though it seemed dumb to blindly trust some random voice that just popped into my head. My mother had warned me about witches hearing voices, but what this voice was saying felt true, and it jived with what was happening.

  Maybe I could track down the gods on my own when I wasn't with my husband or the Squad. But for now, all I could do was as Al suggested; let the memories come. So, as we walked through the hallways of Hades' home, I glanced at Odin and Ull often; using them as triggers for the memories that would help to keep my true path alive.

  Around us, the palace seemed abandoned; no wildlife roamed the gardens, and no gods roamed the halls. Persephone and Hades had a staff that had looked after the grounds and palace for them, but they were gone. The gardens were overgrown, dust covered the furniture, and spider webs hung from the ceilings. And this was the Underworld so it wasn't your average spiders in those webs.

  “Watch out, darling.” Thor angled me away from a hanging spider the size of my head.

  “How did I miss that?” I muttered as I gave it a wide berth.

  “You seem a little distracted,” Thor said with concern. But then his face shifted into an expression of fury, and he shouted, “I stopped her from killing you, and you turned around and executed her.”

  “What?” I asked in horror.

  Thor's face went back to its normal self; albeit worried. “I said you seem distracted. Vervain, are you all right?”

  Pull it together, that was just a memory.

  A memory of what? I asked Al just before I said to Thor, “Sorry; I'm fine. I thought you said something else.”

  Thor took my hand; giving me a skeptical look as we continued down the hallway.

  That was your break-up, Al explained. A pivotal moment for you and Thor. Look; if something seems weird like that again, don't react right away. Give it a chance to distinguish itself as either a memory or reality.

  Okay. I really broke up with Thor?

  He ended it, honey.

  I stumbled, but Thor steadied me. Fortunately, he was used to my clumsiness and didn't say anything.

  Sorry, but it's the truth, Al went on. I can't tell you much more; it will interfere with the return of your memories. It would make you question whether I had planted the suggestion in your mind. But I will explain things that you see if you need me to.

  Why did he leave me?

  Just try to remember, Al said patiently.

  I let Thor lead me through the hallways as my attention turned inward. I was a witch; I knew how to meditate, even when my body was moving. It was easy enough to focus on finding the trace of a memory that had just popped up. I latched onto it, and it unfolded.

  “This isn’t your fault,” I whispered.

  “I didn’t say it was,” Thor's voice turned to ice, and I took an involuntary step back. “I said it was your fault. You used my love for you to kill her.”

  I focused on my surroundings in the memory; Thor and I were in our bedroom, but the drapes were shut against the night air and there was a fire burning beside him. It cast his face into sinister shadows that made his furious expression seem evil.

  “What?”

  The memory-me was shocked; completely unprepared for Thor's attack. I had known he'd be mad about... holy hellfire; I had killed Sif! Sif is Thor's ex-wife and Ull's mother. Why had I killed her?

  “I called to her to stop her from killing you, and when I asked you for the same mercy, you took her
head,” memory-Thor went on.

  “I would have shown mercy,” I said.

  I felt my hand lifting to reach to Thor even as I felt his current hand already holding mine. It was the strangest sensation; reliving the memory while experiencing the present with the same man.

  “I would have done it for you,” I went on in the memory, “even though I knew she’d come back and try to kill me again. I’d have spared her for you, but when I drew away, she used the distraction. She tore into my thigh wound. You must have seen that. I tried to show mercy, and she tried to kill me.”

  “Her tearing into your leg would not have killed you.” Thor shook his head as if he was disappointed that I’d try to lie to him.

  Who was this man? This wasn't the Thor I'd married. He would never treat me like that. I nearly let go of the memory, but Al interrupted.

  Keep going, V, Al said. I know it's rough, but you gotta see this.

  I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and let the rest of it play out.

  “Damn you, Thor!” I had screamed, and Thor narrowed his eyes at me. They flashed with lightning, and it hurt me to see that it was in anger instead of passion. “I’d been losing blood from that wound for awhile by the time she tore into it. If I’d gone without healing any longer, I’d have bled out. I’m not a goddess. I can’t heal myself like the rest of you.”

  “No, you’re not a goddess,” he said it coldly; as if my DNA explained all of my traitorous shortcomings.

  Cold shivers ran over me. I didn't want to know that Thor could be like this. At the same time, I felt the truth in it. Thor was a passionate man; in all things. If he ever decided that I deserved his fury; it would burn just as hot as his love for me.

  “I want to be very clear with you, Thor. This is one of those moments you'll never be able to take back.”

  The memory continued. I could feel my own cold response settling in. I had known what Thor would say, but I needed to hear him say it so that I could move on.

  “If we end this here, we're over for good. You told me just days ago that you'd love me no matter what tried to hinder our love. If you turn that into a lie, I will never forgive you. No second chances this time, no dream visits. I will block my connection to you like I did with Blue. You and I will never be together again. So, I'm only going to ask you this once. Are we done?”

  “Yes,” Thor whispered; it was a bare breath of sound over the thin slash of his lips, but it sounded loud and clear in my ears.

  I let the memory go with a sigh; my heart heavy with the burden of Thor's choice, even though he hadn't chosen it in this life. Simply knowing that he could leave me—in any circumstance—was heartbreaking. I had thought that nothing could tear us apart, but it seemed as if I were wrong. If Thor could do that to me in one life; he could do it to me in this one. I glanced at him with suspicion for the first time since we'd become a couple.

  And I hated myself for it.

  Before I could think on it further, the sound of voices distracted me. We were approaching Hades' bedroom, and the voices were loud enough to filter through his massive double doors. We didn't bother knocking; it was doubtful that they would have heard us over their argument anyway. We just walked in to find Demeter—Persephone's mother—facing off with Hades.

  “This is indisputable proof!” Demeter shouted.

  “A human camera picking up a black mist?” Hades shouted back. “That could be anything.”

  “That's not the only evidence,” Demeter said. “Persephone had been drugged with Net.”

  “What?” I growled.

  Both Demeter and Hades turned to me.

  “Vervain,” Demeter snatched my hand and drew me forward. “I found Persephone's murderer.”

  “Who?” I went still and focused on Demeter. “Who killed her, Demeter?”

  “Nyx; she's the Goddess of Night. A Primordial—” Demeter's voice faded away as soon as I heard the name.

  Nyx; that was the goddess Al had said I needed to find.

  And now you know why, Al said. Aion wanted to harm you, but Nyx set out to hurt Hades. Demeter's right; Nyx murdered Persephone.

  “She's a dead woman,” I said calmly.

  Demeter paused her long explanation to smile wickedly at me. “Now, there's the reaction that I was expecting from you, Hades.” She waved to me as she spoke to Hades. “Instead, you question me.”

  “I don't doubt that you believe Nyx is guilty,” Hades said. “But when I kill Persephone's murderer, I will be certain of their guilt. I can see no reason for Nyx to kill Persephone, and there must at least be a motive.”

  “We can't just let this go; we've been chasing leads for years and now, we finally have a promising one,” I pointed out. “If you don't want to attack Nyx outright, let's confront her with this accusation and see what she says.”

  Hades settled down and set his fiery eyes on me. He usually covered his eyes with sunglasses, but the Lord of the Underworld was in his home and in mourning. So, not only were his frightening eyes out on display—the fires of Tartarus burning behind his whiskey irises—they were sunken and emphasized by dark circles. Hades looked like Hell; pun intended. His hair was matted, his clothes haphazard, and, frankly, he stank. Bottles of wine littered the carpet; he'd obviously been on another bender. But reason was taking a hold of him fast.

  “All right,” Hades agreed. “We can speak to her, but Nyx is a Primordial; we'll have to tread carefully.”

  “Clean yourself up, Hades,” Demeter said coldly. “Then meet us in the garden. Come along, Godhunter; I want to talk to you privately.”

  I nodded and followed Demeter even though a part of me wanted to claw her eyes out. I frowned at that. I'd never liked Demeter, but I didn't hate her either; what was with this sudden animosity? We left the bedroom, along with the Squad, but then continued further down the hallway as they went to wait in the garden. Thor sent a questioning look my way, but I shook my head at him to let him know I'd be okay. When Demeter and I were far enough away from the others to not be overheard, Demeter turned to me and her expression became one of terror.

  “Vervain,” Demeter whispered. “I intended to kill you, not Odin; never the Allfather. It was an accident; I'm so sorry.”

  “I don't care if you're sorry,” I said gently, and her eyes widened further. “I don't care about anything you have to say. This time you're not going to escape justice.”

  I inhaled sharply as the memory played out, and I saw myself lean forward to kiss Demeter; except it wasn't an affectionate kiss. It was literally the kiss of death; I breathed fire into her mouth and burned Demeter alive.

  “What the fuck?” I whispered.

  “Exactly,” the present Demeter said crisply. “What is wrong with that man? I hand him my daughter's murderer, and he wants more proof.”

  “Yeah.” I tried to go with it. “I don't need any more proof. I know it's Nyx; I can feel it.”

  “Me too.” Demeter gave me a look of shocked approval. “I never liked you much, Vervain, and so it comes as a great surprise to me that you are the one I can depend on in this. You have my apologies for misjudging you, and my thanks for standing with me. No one has listened,” her voice broke and a tear slipped out of her eye.

  I pulled Demeter into a hug, and she clasped onto me as if I were the only solid thing in her world. She cried full out then; broken sobs that bent her tall frame over mine. Whatever she had done to me, I didn't care about it at that moment. She was simply a mother grieving the loss of her child; a child who had been my best friend. I owed it to Persephone to comfort her mother. Hell, I owed it to my sense of common decency.

  “We're going to get that bitch,” I promised Demeter. “Whatever it takes. Let Hades ask his questions; we'll use the distraction to take our revenge.”

  Demeter sniffed and pulled back to stare at me with a vicious smile. She swiped at her eyes as she lifted her chin. “You're a woman after my own heart, Godhunter.” She stuck her hand out to me. “Allies?”

>   “Allies,” I agreed. “The Squad won't understand; they're like Hades and will want proof. Let's talk about this further when they're not around.”

  “Come to my place after you're finished here,” she suggested. “Tell them that I had to leave and that you promised to update me later. That will give you an excuse to visit me. My ward chant is 'Spring will always return.'” She swallowed roughly. “Although, it hardly seems appropriate anymore.”

  “Persephone wouldn't want you to waste your life mourning her,” I said gently. “Spring will return; it will burn hot enough to kill a goddess.”

  Demeter smiled again and nodded. “You're damn straight it will. Until tonight, Godhunter.”

  I nodded and watched Demeter leave. She was the epitome of lush, feminine beauty; long blonde hair, curvy body, and classical features, but that woman could lay the smackdown like no one's business. I had complete faith in us; we could take on Nyx by ourselves.

  Not just Nyx, Al reminded me. Nyx is working with Aion, and he's the one who truly wants to hurt you. You'll have a Primordial Greek and the son of Zeus to defeat.

  The son of Zeus? I asked in surprise. Maybe that could work to our benefit.

  Don't worry about the Ambrosia thing; you already took care of that in your true life.

  This is so strange; talking about a different life as if it were real and this one isn't, I mused. And a little scary. What happens to me if I go back to that other path? Do I cease to exist?

  You go back to existing in the timeline in which you belong, he explained. This is not a different body, Vervain. This is the same you; it's only your mind and the world around you that's been affected.

  “Oh,” I whispered.

  “Oh, what?” Thor asked.

  I turned to Thor in surprise. He was standing at the edge of the garden; watching me.

  “I forgot about something I saw before Persephone died,” I covered.

  “What?” Thor stepped closer.

  “I saw a—”