Happily Harem After Read online

  “Did you just call me 'Spade?'” His lips twitched.

  “Yep. You want me to call you Jax instead?” I asked. “I don't know the etiquette between monarchs, and frankly, J-Spade, I don't give a damn. I've been shrunk, fell through a hole, assaulted by flowers, and forced to tromp through the woods in high heels today–my patience is wearing thin.”

  King Jaxon burst out laughing, and the soldiers standing around us, dressed all in black and very menacing in appearance, stared at their king in shock. I stared at him in open longing. Laughter made him ten times hotter. Ugh, I was going to get really mean, I just knew it.

  “Charming,” King Jaxon whispered. “Just like your mother.”

  My face fell. I had very few memories of my mother, and they were all hazy. First Hatter had said that I resembled her, and now this guy made another reference. On top of his untouchable hotness, it was too much. I'd just buried my last family member that very day, and I had reached my breaking point.

  I turned around and walked out of the clearing.

  “Alice?” Nick called after me.

  “I need a minute,” I called back, waving my hand over my shoulder absently. “Don't worry, I know about the bandersnatch burrow.”

  I wandered just a few feet away and found a convenient tree to lay my forehead against. The rough bark felt real, more real than this place had a right to be, and I placed my palms against it for good measure. Then a pair of strong hands folded over my shoulders. I was so startled that I swung about and flat-palmed a punch into my attacker's solar plexus.

  Except he wasn't attacking me. The King of Spades had been trying to comfort me and had not been expecting me to attack him. Nonetheless, he responded with impressive speed; deflecting my punch with his wrist, and using my momentum to pull me off balance.

  I teetered, he caught me, and I wound up in his embrace, staring up into his stunning eyes. I was so close that I could see striations of indigo and amethyst in them. Jaxon stared back at me, his eyes going liquid and his arms tightening. His smell hit me then: cedar and musk. I breathed in deep.

  “Duke Theodore taught you well,” he whispered, his stare falling to my lips. “But I'm your ally, Alice. I swear to you; you're safe with me.”

  “I know,” my voice had dropped to a low purr. “You just startled me.”

  “My apologies, Your Majesty.” He smiled. “I only wanted to offer you some comfort.”

  “I'm good.” I pushed out of his arms, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, and his eyes betrayed his disappointment for just a second. “It's been a rough day. I simply needed a few seconds to process.”

  “I understand,” he said crisply. “Are you ready to return now? We have much to discuss.”

  “Sure.”

  I took King Jaxon's arm and let him escort me back to the Mad Tea Party

  Chapter Three

  “How much do you know about what's happening in Wonderland?” King Jaxon asked me as he held a chair out for me.

  “Very little,” I admitted. “Someone was rushing me.” I gave Warren a pointed look.

  “We were late.” Warren sniffed.

  “Late!” Hare shouted, waking up the mouse.

  “Eh, now, stop with all the shouting,” Dormouse mumbled, then curled back up in her teacup.

  “Dormouse is always tired,” Hatter whispered dramatically to me.

  “Because you louts are exhausting,” Dormouse muttered.

  “Wonderland is divided into four Card Kingdoms.” Jaxon ignored the banter and poured me a cup of tea. “Spades, Clubs, Diamonds, and Hearts,” he said the last scathingly. “But we were ruled over by one royal family; the Wild Cards. Your parents kept the peace between the kingdoms, directing our talents into their best employments, and making Wonderland into a safe and prosperous environment for everyone.”

  “Until the Queen of Hearts set her eyes on your father,” Hatter growled, his eyes narrowing. “Pin your heart to the cat's tail and watch the kitty wail. Why is a cat like a chessboard?”

  “Easy, George,” Jaxon said. “We have King Altair's daughter here, remember? We will right this wrong.”

  “Yes, yes, I remember now.” Hatter focused on me intensely. “You're home, at last, Alice.”

  “Am I?” I looked around the strange place and my even stranger dining companions. “Is this where I was born?”

  “You were born in the Wilds,” Jaxon said.

  “I was born in the wild?” I asked in horror. “I thought I was royal?”

  “The Wilds is the name for the castle your family lived in.” Jaxon chuckled. “It's just there.”

  Jaxon pointed above the trees, and I looked in the direction he indicated. There was a magnificent castle of black, red, and white stone perched on a cliff above the forest. Its sleek towers were topped with gold poles, but no banners flew from them. The castle was empty, I could tell that, even from this distance. It exuded an air of abandonment.

  “Tell me more,” I looked back to the King of Spades. “What happened to my parents?”

  “As George here said”–Jaxon sighed–“the Queen of Hearts developed an affection for your father. He did not return it. He was still mourning your mother, who died when you were only two.”

  “My mother died before my father?” I asked. “Uncle Ted told me they were in an accident together. All three of us, but only I made it.”

  “Well, it's obvious that your uncle didn't want you to know of your lineage until it was necessary,” Nick said as he balanced his chair back on two legs. “Smart man; Ted was not as flighty as the rest of us. Though he did take flight with you, so perhaps he was more flighty than the rest of us.”

  “Queen Julia, your mother,” Jaxon went on, “did have an accident. In a way. There was a dangerous beast who used to terrorize the villages and your mother tried to conquer it, using her Wild magic.”

  “Wild magic?” I asked.

  “Every royal has an ability that they are born with,” Warren explained. “A magic that is passed down through their line. The House of Spades are magnificent warriors.” Warren paused to bow to King Jaxon, and Jaxon nodded back regally. “The House of Diamonds has a talent for amassing wealth. The House of Clubs has healing magic, and–”

  “Healing?” I interrupted. “How is healing relevant to a club?”

  “The club symbol is actually a clover,” Jaxon said patiently as Warren huffed indignantly over my interruption. “It represents nature and the power of plants to heal. Most clubbers have a talent for potion making as well. King Bevan taught your uncle the art.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “May I continue?” Warren asked.

  “You interrupted my story first, White,” Jaxon reminded Warren.

  “Oh, quite right, Your Majesty,” Warren stammered. “My apologies.”

  “Then you won't mind if I take over?” Jaxon smiled, shooting me a conspiratorial wink.

  “Not at all.” Warren bowed out, literally.

  “Let's see,” Jaxon murmured. “Oh yes, last there is the House of Hearts, with the power of love.”

  “But you didn't tell me about the Wild magic,” I reminded him.

  “Yes, the Wild.” Jaxon sighed. “The reason the House of Wilds ruled Wonderland was that they possessed all of those other magics along with an additional, unknown power that each Wild child was born with. There are several wild magics, but so far, only five have manifested; Cut, Shuffle, Deal, Fold, and Front. Your father was not born a Wild; he married your mother and became king in that manner. It was your mother who had the true power in Wonderland. She was born with an ability to cast illusions, also known as Fronting.”

  “Illusions?” I frowned. “Like hallucinations?”

  “Queen Julia could make you see and believe whatever she wished,” Jaxon said. “She had the best poker face around and could put up a good front. Combined with her deadly skill with a blade, it made her nearly invincible.”

  “Nearly,” I whispered.

>   “Yes,” Jaxon said grimly. “Her Majesty may have been a bit overconfident. She had the best intentions when she went to face the Jabberwocky, but she insisted that she didn't need any help. She bade your father remain at the castle with you while she handled the beast.”

  “What's a Jabberwocky?” I asked.

  “Jabberwocky!” Hare screeched, jumped up, and ran across the table, disrupting the Dormouse again and overturning several small cakes.

  “Where?” Dormouse asked.

  “Beware the Jabberwock,” Hatter growled, “the jaws that bite, the claws that catch!”

  “It's a terrible monster with fiery eyes and skin as thick as an elephant,” King Jaxon said gravely. “Similar to what earthers call a dragon.”

  “My mother tried to kill a dragon?” I asked.

  “And instead, it killed her,” Jaxon said gently. “Your father was devastated, but the Queen of Hearts didn't care. A mere year after Queen Julia's death, Queen Rina tried to seduce King Altair.”

  “The foul succubus!” Hatter screamed as he grabbed the still bouncing Hare and set him in an empty seat; of which, there were several.

  “Foul,” Hare agreed and then snatched up a chicken salad sandwich. He inspected it and proclaimed again, but with a different meaning, “Fowl!” He ate with gusto.

  “The Queen of Hearts failed to seduce King Altair,” King Jaxon said. “It was the first time that her magic had failed her, and it was a bit of an embarrassment as she had been public in her flirtations.”

  “Do not tell me that this bitch killed my father because he wouldn't fuck her,” I growled.

  King Jaxon's eyes went wide, and his lips twitched. “You are most assuredly your mother's daughter. I now fully believe Duke Theodore.”

  “You believe what?”

  “Your uncle, the Duke,” Jaxon explained. “He would send us reports on you–updates giving us hope that someday the last Wild Card would be put into play and take back her throne. I was uncertain that you would be strong enough to face Queen Rina after being raised an earther, but now, I see that I was wrong. You fight with fists and words. You are the Queen of Wilds.”

  “Tell me what happened to my father.” I waved aside his praise.

  “The Queen of Hearts murdered him,” Jaxon said simply. “Without Queen Julia to hold the Wild throne, and you only a babe, the House of Wilds was vulnerable. Queen Rina exploited that vulnerability. Love can be a very powerful magic; people will do horrible things in the name of love, and the Queen of Hearts used it to coerce some Wild knights into betraying their king. They opened the castle to the Heart army.”

  “How did I escape?” I asked.

  “There was just enough time for your uncle to snatch you out of your bed and run with you,” Nick answered. “I led him through the escape tunnels myself.”

  “Why didn't my father escape with us?” I asked.

  “Your father knew that they were there for him,” King Jaxon said. “If he had gone with you, you both would have perished. Altair chose to make a stand and give you the time you needed to flee.”

  “And none of you other kingdoms did anything?” I narrowed my eyes on King Jaxon. “You just let this bitch get away with murder?”

  “The Wild knights were not the only traitors.” Jaxon grimaced. “While your father battled for his life, our kingdoms faced similar situations. Queen Rina planned a coup, not just of the Wilds, but of Wonderland in its entirety. We all lost our kingdoms that day. The King of Diamonds also lost his queen.”

  “I'm so sorry,” I whispered. “Did you lose someone too?”

  “Several of my men were killed,” Jaxon said. “But I had no wife to lose. I've been a bit of a bachelor, like the King of Clubs.”

  “So, there are three kings left and one queen,” I mused.

  “Two queens, Your Majesty,” Nick pointed out. “Two queens facing each other across a chessboard.”

  “But only one of them has a kingdom,” I noted. “So, even the magnificent warriors of Spades couldn't stand against this Queen of Hearts?”

  “Not when half of our men turned on us,” King Jaxon growled. “The Card Kings are in hiding, the remnants of our armies with us, and we have all been waiting for your return, Queen Alice.”

  “Why me? What can I do?”

  “You can bring the Wild magic back to Wonderland,” Jaxon whispered fervently. “What is your talent, Your Majesty?”

  “Did you not catch the part where I was raised on Earth and had no idea that I'm some kind of magic princess?”

  “Queen,” Warren corrected. “As soon as your father died, you became queen.”

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes.

  “I understand that you have little knowledge of our world.” Jaxon held up his hand. “But magic has a way of making itself known. You should have felt something by now, even in the human world.”

  “Nothing.” I shook my head. “I haven't felt anything magical.”

  “You just need some time.” The King of Spades said gently.

  “Time!” Hatter snapped. “I hate Time, that manxome fiddertwatch!”

  “Time can kiss my furry brown arse!” Dormouse woke up to exclaim.

  “Time for tea!” Hare shouted.

  “I can see why you wanted to meet here,” I said dryly. “I never want to leave.”

  Chapter Four

  “This is not the meeting,” Jaxon said with a sideways smile. “Hatter serves as a decoy.”

  “A decoy?” I asked.

  “Should the Queen of Hearts send soldiers into Tulgey Wood, they will encounter the Hatter and his frozen tea time. Most don't bother with George.”

  “He can try the patience,” Warren said affectionately. “Try and try again, Hatter never gives up.”

  “Which patients?” Hatter narrowed his eyes on Warren. “Are you here for a check-up?”

  “We need a doctor!” Dormouse exclaimed.

  “I am a doctor,” Hatter said airily.

  “What's up, Doc?” Hare asked.

  I burst into laughter, and the men stared at me in surprise.

  “It's a human thing,” I waved off their curiosity. “Where is the real meeting, King Jaxon?”

  “In Hatter's house.” Jaxon stood and gallantly helped me out of my seat. “Or beneath it, rather. If you will allow me, Your Majesty?” He held out his arm to me, and I took it. “This way.”

  “We'll meet you inside, Your Majesty,” Nick said. “We're going to scout the area, just in case the Queen's men are lurking about.”

  “All right,” I agreed.

  King Jaxon led me to the tiny cottage behind Hatter's chair, and Hatter watched us go longingly. Right; he was stuck at tea forever. How sad to never be able to enter your own home.

  “Take point,” Jaxon said to the soldiers that followed us in.

  The men nodded and hurried up a small staircase. Jaxon led me further into the house, and then into the kitchen. He went up to a tall, slim cupboard and opened the door. It had a broom hanging on a peg, but that was all. King Jaxon pushed against the back wall of the cupboard, and it moved inward, revealing a set of stairs. He went in first, then offered me a hand. I climbed in after him, and he shut the cupboard door, then the false panel.

  “Sneaky,” I said. “I like it.”

  “Oh, we've learned to be very sneaky indeed,” he purred.

  There was only one lantern, halfway down the stairs, burning a low flame, and the stairwell was narrow, putting us in close quarters. Jaxon's stare roamed my face, but then he held his arm up between us, and I laid my palm on it. He smiled as he led me downstairs, but it looked a little self-conscious.

  The stairs curved and then let us out into a rectangular room full of soldiers. They were already armed with assorted weapons, their stares set on the stairwell and our approaching footsteps, but when they saw King Jaxon, they relaxed and bowed. Jaxon nodded to them and led me through the room, to a door on the other side. I noted the insignias on the chests of the soldier
s: playing card outlines with red diamonds and black clubs.

  We entered a sitting room. Two cozy chairs were placed before a small fire, and behind the empty seats, two men sat at a table with the remnants of a meal between them. They looked up at our entrance.

  One was more beautiful than handsome, with heavy-lidded bedroom eyes in the deepest shade of green, and sensual lips. His hair was dirty blond and disheveled in a sexy way, as if he'd just gotten out of bed... and he hadn't been there alone. He wasn't as large or as muscular as Jaxon, but there was an air of authority about him that screamed “king,” and he looked like he could fight for his crown if he had to.

  The other man looked harder, but only because he was more aggressively masculine than his companion. Shoulder-length, dark-brown hair was pulled back from his face and tied with leather at the nape of his neck. The firelight turned the strands of his hair auburn, but I wasn't sure if that was truly its color. His eyes, though, those were definitely dark, nearly black, but there was a kindness in them that, when paired with the rest of his competent looks, made me want to trust him immediately.

  Both men stood.

  “Queen Alice,” Jaxon said, “these are Their Majesties, King Draven of Diamonds”–he indicated the blond first and then waved to the brunette–“and King Bevan of Clubs. Men, here is our long lost queen.”

  “Queen Alice,” King Draven snatched my hand and kissed it lingeringly. “It's an honor and a pleasure to meet you at last. We've all waited a very long time for you.”

  “Lay off her, Draven,” King Bevan growled as he came around the table to shake my hand. “I am most relieved to have you with us, Your Majesty. We have been waiting, some of us more patiently than others, for this day to arrive.”

  “Twenty-two years, if I'm not mistaken,” I said.

  The men blinked at me.

  “Queen Alice,” Draven said, “we have been in hiding for over forty years.”

  “Forty?” I looked them over. “You all look as young as I am.”