Anthem of Ashes: Book 9 in the Spellsinger Series Read online

  I froze, my heart beating rapidly against the cage of my chest as Gage circled that other place teasingly. As he did, he moved between my thighs, bending to angle up and drive his shaft inside me. I cried out and threw my head back, barely noticing that he kept his finger where I didn't want it. I lifted a leg and wrapped it around his waist, giving him better access. But this also opened me to his other endeavor. With a deep slam, Gage lodged himself inside me while he slipped the tip of his finger into my other opening. It felt... strange. But with the pleasure coalescing in my sex, it was tolerable.

  Then Gage began thrusting both his cock and his finger deeper. I flinched and moaned as Lucifer's voice echoed in my memories; Dark delights that we shall explore together.

  “No!” I screamed and thrashed until Gage drew out of me.

  “All right,” Gage murmured gently as he simply hugged me. “I won't do anything that you don't want me to do; I swear it. Okay? Don't be afraid of me, Mate. I would die before I hurt you.”

  My breath caught as I had a flash of Lucifer's face between my thighs. Sweet stones; I thought I was over what he had done to me. I had labeled it as a minor offense orchestrated by his devil. But it hadn't been minor; Lucifer had touched me intimately, in ways that I didn't even allow my lovers to touch me. I knew it was the Devil who had truly done it but still, Lucifer hadn't worn his horns when he had violated me. It was his beautiful face that I remembered. Those glittering eyes surrounded by starlight hair. Did it make a difference that he had stopped himself? That he fought his darker urges and drew away from me before he completed the act? Yes, of course it did, and that was what had prompted me to forgive him. But I hadn't forgotten, and it had been festering inside my subconscious; this black sludge that he had left in my mind and in my body. A bubbling poison that had just infected my relationship with Gage.

  This was not acceptable.

  “Do it,” I whispered suddenly.

  “What?” Gage frowned as he pulled back from me.

  “Fuck me there, Gage. Make me like it.”

  “Elaria,” he whispered with horror, “what is this? Where is this coming from?”

  “Just do as I ask,” I pleaded. I needed someone to claim that part of me and burn away the vileness of Lucifer's touch. “Slide your body into mine and claim me everywhere a man can take a woman.”

  Gage shivered, his lips parting with arousal. “By my wings, Elaria, I want to. I was teasing you before but now, you're making me want this.” He brushed his lips over mine but then pulled back to stare into my eyes. “Except I think there's more to it than desire for you. Tell me why, Mate. There is no one here but you and I, and you know that you can trust me. Tell me, and we will conquer this together.”

  A tear trickled down my cheek.

  “Elaria,” Gage's cry broke on itself as he bracketed my face with his hands. “Don't cry, sweetheart.”

  “Lucifer,” I hissed.

  Gage jerked and straightened. “What?”

  “When he had me under his control, he...” I swallowed convulsively. “He touched me... there. He promised to do things to me.”

  “What?” Gage growled.

  “It was his devil, Gage.” I shook my shackles, wanting to touch him, to nestle against his chest. “And he stopped himself before he followed through. Don't hold it against him.”

  “But you do.” Gage narrowed his hazel eyes at me; they had been gold with his arousal but now, they were turning a furious green. “You're obviously affected by it. Deeply affected.”

  “I didn't realize that I was until you touched me there,” I admitted. “I've forgiven him; he tore himself apart to make it up to me. But I can't seem to forget. I need to move past this or it will cripple me.”

  “And you want me to replace his memory with a new one,” Gage concluded softly.

  “Yes. Of you and me doing something I've consented to.”

  “Consented,” he spat the word. “This isn't something you want to do, Ellie. I'll replace an evil memory of Lucifer with an even worse memory of me.”

  “I have faith in you,” I whispered. “You've taught me to enjoy a lot of things I wouldn't have thought I'd like.”

  “Damn it all!” Gage cursed and undid the manacles. “These will have to wait for another night. I can't do this and keep you chained. It will feel too much like rape.”

  I tumbled into his arms, and Gage continued our momentum down to the bed, laying me back gently on the slope. He settled on his side next to me, stroking my cheek tenderly. It felt almost like a goodbye. In a way, I guess it was. Farewell to the old version of us; time to change.

  “Are you certain that you want to do this?” Gage asked steadily.

  “Yes.”

  “If you don't like it, you tell me to stop,” his voice was back to being commanding but this time, it held a note of concern.

  “I will,” I promised.

  “Look at you.” Gage shook his head. “You look as if you're going into battle. Or to the fucking guillotine. I don't know if I can do this, Elaria.”

  I softened my expression and pulled on him until he settled his body over mine. “I love you. I trust you. And I want this. I want you to be the one who does this with me first. You, the man I was destined to be with before my fate was changed by a spell. Show me how much you love me, Gage.”

  “More than my tribe and the open sky, Mate,” he whispered before he kissed me.

  I moaned into his mouth, undulating my body against his as he curled his tongue around mine. Our legs slid against each other, the prickle of his hair against my sleek skin. His muscles clenched beneath my roving hands as he drew back and spread his kisses down my throat and over my breasts. Gage took his time there, shifting his body between my thighs as he sucked and massaged me into quivering need. My hands went to his head to press him closer as I delighted in the tingles that flashed through my body like lightning, outward from beneath his mouth.

  Finally, Gage moved down my body until he leaned on an elbow with his face directly above my sex.

  “If we're going to do this, we're doing it my way,” Gage growled; the dominant Griffin back. “Lift your legs up, Mate; grasp your knees and pull them up for me.”

  I did as he said; pulling my legs back and exposing my world to him. Gage looked me over slowly and licked his lips before he dove into me. And I do mean; into. He covered my sex with his mouth and shoved his tongue deep. Thrust and twirl; that wet flesh moved with determined purpose inside me before drawing out to flick and stroke. I cried out; shaking with pleasure and the need to touch him, but I kept my hands on my legs as he had ordered. And Gage didn't stop; not until I was screaming through an orgasm, my hands tightening on my knees until my knuckles bleached white.

  “There,” Gage murmured in satisfaction. “Now, we can begin.”

  The Griffin lifted up on his elbow again and lightly worked his hand over me, moving the liquid desire down from my sex to the other place. I tried to relax as he rubbed it in gently, but it was difficult. I kept having flashes of Lucifer and then that horrible club in Erotic Alley where I'd witnessed disturbing sexual acts. I shivered, not in pleasure, and Gage leaned his shoulder up beneath my thigh and kissed me there.

  “No further than you want to go,” he reminded me. “If you don't like it at any time, we stop.”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  “You will follow my instructions, Mate. Do you understand me? They're for your benefit.”

  “I understand.”

  “Good.” He pressed the tip of his finger at my other entrance and pushed in just enough to seat it. “Squeeze my finger.”

  “What?” I blinked at him.

  “Do it!” Gage growled.

  I squeezed him with the muscles there.

  “Now, relax.”

  As I relaxed, he slid his finger in a little deeper. Correction; my body pulled him in. I flinched at the strange feeling.

  “Perfect,” he praised me and rewarded me with a lick over the crest of
my sex. “I like it when you wax everything off.” He paused to nuzzle his face against my bare skin. “You will keep yourself like this for me from now on.”

  “Okay.” My breath was coming faster. “Sure.”

  “Squeeze again.”

  We repeated the process, over and over, until his finger was all the way inside me, and I had been the one to draw it there. Amazingly enough, it didn't feel awful. Gage moved it gently around, twisting it to loosen my tight muscles. Then he went back to licking my sex; using tongue and lips and teeth to bring me back to that glorious crest while he simultaneously slipped his finger gently in and out of my ass. I found myself rocking onto him; wanting more.

  “Oh, Gods!” I cried. “Gage!”

  “Just feel, Mate. Don't you dare demand anything of me. I'll fuck your ass when I'm good and ready.”

  I roared through my orgasm; Gage pumping that finger harder and harder into me as he sucked me into release.

  “Fuck!” I shouted as I shivered and shook then fell back into limp bliss.

  Gage moved up my body and slid his cock into my sex with one fluid shove. I moved to touch him, but he growled and narrowed his eyes at me until I put my hands back beneath my knees.

  “I want to touch you.”

  “I know,” Gage snapped as he slid his arms beneath my thighs and took their weight for me. “Beg me.”

  “Please let me touch you.”

  “Do it,” he snarled before he kissed me.

  Why was it so much more thrilling to touch him when he commanded it? And why wasn't I embarrassed about enjoying this with him? Perhaps because with Gage, what we did in bed was separate from what we did out of it. He adored me and romanced me until he got me here, and then I could give up control—that firm control I fought so hard to keep—and he would shoulder it for me. I realized that this was why I'd chosen to do this with him; Gage has always been the one to take my baggage and set a torch to it. He did it with his voice, his mind, and his entire body.

  Gage ground his pelvis against me as he slammed into my core, bringing me closer and closer to yet another apex. But before I came, he drew himself out and moved to my ass. I started to tense but then he rubbed the tip in a gentle circle and my body opened to him as if it remembered the pleasure he'd given us there. Gage worked the first few inches in, feeling far larger than I expected, but then he kept that part of himself still as he moved his hand up to my sex. He began a relentless rubbing; his thumb circling my clit as his fingers dipped into me. I moaned and pushed down on him, bringing his cock in halfway.

  “Fuck,” Gage groaned. “This is amazing. It's taking everything I have to keep still.”

  “Then move, baby,” I purred as I worked myself even further onto him.

  Gage made a savage sound as he shoved in to the hilt, his hands hitting the mattress as he shouldered my knees. I shouted with him, the feeling of fullness sending my head rolling.

  “Rub your pussy for me; right over your clit,” Gage commanded. “Spread yourself so I can see it. Yeah; just like that. Rub it like you do when you're alone.”

  Gage started fucking me furiously, and I matched his tempo with my fingers. Harsh breaths shot between us, forced out of me by his pounding. Gage's hands went to my knees and pushed them back to my ears, using the leverage to hold himself above me while he drove into me. His gaze kept going from my wet fingers, down to his cock pumping inside my ass, and then to my face.

  “Do you like it, Mate?” He demanded. “Tell me the truth.”

  “I do,” I admitted and then smiled triumphantly. “I knew you could convince me.”

  “Oh, fuck,” Gage groaned as he moved faster. “Fuck your pussy with your fingers.”

  I worked two fingers in and reeled under the sensation of being penetrated in those two places at once. So close and yet with such different types of pleasure. One was bone-shaking, a primal claiming, while the other was erotically delicious. I wanted more.

  “Don't stop, Gage.”

  “I won't, baby,” he promised. “Not until you scream again.”

  Despite his vow, Gage suddenly jerked out of me. I made a mewling cry of protest, but he quickly turned me over, onto my hands and knees, and spread my ass to slide back into me. The wild pounding resumed, and he pushed my shoulders down until my face pressed against the mattress while my ass lifted high behind me.

  “Rub yourself, Mate,” Gage's voice was getting more guttural; a sure sign that he was close. “Make yourself come for me.”

  I moved my hand over my sex rapidly, seeking that bliss like a wild woman. Gage moved his hands to my hips and pulled me onto him even as he slammed forward.

  “This is so fucking hot,” Gage panted. “I didn't think I'd enjoy this so damn much. Fuck!” His body jerked against mine, and he cried out my name just before he pulled out and drenched my back.

  My fingers worked anxiously as that hot liquid seared my back and sent me over the edge. I screamed for my mate one last time and then collapsed into a heap. Gage rolled to the side and eased me up into his arms, the slope of his nest-bed holding us perfectly.

  “Thank you,” I whispered against his chest.

  Gage's laughter was so booming that it jostled my face. I looked up at him in surprise.

  “You just gave me one of the most erotic experiences of my life, and then you thank me.” Gage stared at me adoringly. “That was amazing, Ellie. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did because I really want to do it again.”

  “I may have liked it a little.” I gave him a shy smile.

  “A little?” He lifted his brows at me. “I wasn't the only one screaming 'Fuck' over and over. And you only do that when you're wild with desire.”

  “If you're so sure that I enjoyed it, why did you ask?”

  “I wanted to be absolutely clear,” Gage went serious. “Did we succeed?”

  I thought about what we had just done and had no tightening in my belly or flashes of Lucifer invading my mind. It was all Gage now. And it was all good.

  “Yeah, you succeeded.” I got to my knees and grinned down at him. “And now that we've won that battle, let's get back to your original plan.”

  Gage climbed to his feet eagerly and then helped me to mine. I pretended to fight him again as he wrestled my wrists into the manacles, but I didn't put my all into it. I was too eager to experience everything he had promised earlier and perhaps a few extras.

  Gage didn't let me down; not with his promises or from the chains. Not until ecstasy had taken us both for another rough ride and left us languid and gloriously exhausted.

  Chapter Forty

  I woke in a griffin nest, nestled against the Griffin himself. I had to admit that even though the bed took up a huge amount of space, it was worth it. It was the most comfortable night's sleep I've ever had. Although, that could have something to do with the fact that Gage had exorcised my demons—or rather, my devil—the night before.

  We did a little more exorcising, well perhaps exercising is a better word for it. Gage wanted to “make sure” that I truly enjoyed the newest addition to our sexual repertoire. I did. Again and again. Then we took a long, lazy shower together and got dressed. I felt like a new woman; free of a weight I hadn't realized I'd been carrying. Looking back, I think that my affection for Lucifer had made it worse. I liked the man he had become and the more our friendship grew the more I hated what he'd done to me before he'd changed. Gage had taken that all away. Not only with his actions but also with his words. After our desire had finally been fatigued, we laid awake in each other's arms, talking it through. I told him exactly what Lucifer had done, and he forgave Lucifer for me. It sounds silly; the forgiveness of my lover helping me to forgive an evil that had been done to me. But with Gage's acceptance and subsequent release of the horror, I was able to do the same.

  We held hands as we crossed the bridge back to my tower, him in the lead again. I sighed as I stared at his broad back and shoulders. So much strength outside and within. Gage had been th
e man who Vivian had lured to me with a spell crafted to find my soul mate. Soul mate. It meant that Gage had been destined to be mine; only Gage. Would I have been happy with just him in my life? You're damn straight I would. But fate had chosen a different life for me, and I didn't hold a grudge. The RS was cruel at first but then we had melded and found a balance. In a way, she had prompted me to seek Gage sooner, and she had made it possible for me to have him as well as the other men I now couldn't live without. Fate, it seems, has moments of kindness.