A Gray Area Read online

Page 20


  “Take me then,” he growled, “and damn the consequences.”

  My head reeled with his words, but I was wet with wanting. I couldn't stop. I needed this now as much as he did. Malik pushed against my opening, and I moved to help him. My breath came in pants as he stretched me.

  “Wait!” I cried. “You're too big, go slowly.”

  “Amara, I... can't...”

  “Just one second.” I writhed on his tip and slowly worked myself over him. “There, sweetheart; I'm ready.”

  Malik shoved upward, and I screamed. Pain and pleasure mixed together, but soon the tightness felt good and pure ecstasy flooded my body. I clung to his shoulders as his wings wrapped around us protectively. His strong hands lifted and lowered me; the pace increasing with our growing desire. I nearly had all of him inside me; I was so gloriously full of him. I opened my eyes and saw our auras mixing; melding into one lusty haze. Power prickled my skin and my gaze sought his. Fire; an absolute inferno. I had thought to ease him back from bloodlust, but sexual lust had its own savagery. Malik bared his teeth, and I watched in horror as they lengthened into deadly points. Something dripped from them. Venom? Was he poisonous in this form?

  I screamed suddenly and fought him, but he was so strong. Malik's claws scraped my skin as he clung to me and the scent of blood rose up. It made him jerk and snarl. He shoved me down before him, turned me onto my hands and knees, and entered me from behind. One arm wrapped around my waist and the other clasped tightly onto my shoulder. I felt his breath hot on my skin as he thrust himself all the way into me. I was screaming, but I wasn't sure if it was from pain, pleasure, or panic. Malik was making savage sounds that echoed back to me from the walls of his wings and his body bucked violently against mine. But his hand was tender when it brushed the hair away from my neck.

  And then his fangs sank into me. I screamed again; this time I was certain it was pain. Fire spread from the back of my neck and flowed throughout my body. Malik came; his heat filling me below. It seemed to rise up to meet the heat from his bite. Venom and semen swirled together in my body. I began to convulse, and Malik lifted me, cradled me in his arms like a child. He shifted back to a more human form as I shuddered through terrible pain.

  “I would have given you the choice,” Malik murmured sadly as he brushed my hair tenderly from my face. “I'm so sorry, my love. I was beyond reason, and then you... I could not resist what you offered. Please don't hate me for lacking the strength to stop you.” He laid a sweet kiss on my brow as the pain inside me turned to pleasure. “Is the pain gone yet? It should be brief, Amara. I'm sorry I couldn't prepare you for it.”

  My gaze searched his, but I couldn't speak, couldn't ask him what he was talking about. Searing rapture had taken control of my body, my thighs clenching as I came over and over. Malik's hand slid between my legs and rubbed me expertly. I arched up against him, and he groaned. His mouth lowered to mine and our kiss was nearly as hot as the flames burning passionately through me. His finger slid inside me, and I shouted my delight into his mouth.

  “That's it, sweetheart; let go. I have you. Just let go. Enjoy the pleasure; let it consume you. It will be easier if you don't fight it.”

  I did. I let go and my body shattered into pieces. Somehow, Malik held me together. His eyes were only glowing now; soft and steady and deep amethyst. But his aura was full of regret and... triumph. I frowned at that as he lifted me and carried me into the townhouse. I couldn't look away from his striking face. I heard the light click of the door shutting behind him; the lock sliding into place. The thud of his footsteps sounded hollow as he walked down the set of stairs that led to the roof. Then we were in my bedroom, and he was laying me down on the bed. He stretched out beside me and stroked a hand down my body possessively.

  “How are you feeling?” Malik's voice was a low purr.

  “What just happened?” I whispered.

  Malik's jaw clenched, and he looked away briefly. “I woke up and you were gone, Amara. I didn't see your note until I was nearly out of my mind with panic. Then I blacked out. I came to on the roof. I heard voices. I saw you with him.” He shook his head. “You need to understand what you are to me. What it means to be a dvarra. Although, that doesn't matter anymore.”

  “What do you mean it doesn't matter?” My heart started pounding in fright as I sat up. “Are you leaving me?”

  Malik made a sharp sound of disbelief. “No, my love, I'm not leaving you, but you may wish it otherwise by the time I finish explaining.”

  I went still. “Malik, Varian wouldn't let me take you into Danu. I had to make a decision. I knew you wouldn't let me go alone, and I also knew that this could be what we needed to stop the Grays from growing. I'm sorry I left you. I intended to return quickly, but the Queen insisted I stay. If it wasn't for Varian, I would still be there.”

  Malik's jaw clenched as he took a deep breath. “I forgive you for leaving me. I understand, Amara, and I hope you'll give me the same amount of understanding.”

  “Understanding for what? What did you do to me, Malik?” I whispered.

  “Sex is never done in battleform except between a mvarra and her mvarro,” Malik stared at me intently; willing me to comprehend his deeper meaning.

  “A wife and her husband?”

  Malik nodded.

  “You're saying that I shouldn't have aroused you in that form.”

  “I'm not chiding you for it.” He leaned over and kissed me softly. “I'm happy with the results, if not the process. I would have asked you in the future and then prepared you for the transition. It's not the easiest of rituals.”

  “Malik, what are you talking about?” I asked.

  Malik groaned. Heat spread out from the back of my neck, and I lifted a hand to the spot. There was a raised mark there; a scar. I shouldn't have scarred at all, but if I had, it should have been in the form of his bite. This felt odd; like a design. My finger traced it, and I gaped at him.

  “Is there the outline of a crown on the back of my neck?”

  Malik nodded grimly. “My mark; I've shared it with you. There isn't much time before the claiming takes us again. I'll explain as much as I can before that happens. When I bit you, my mating venom was released. It marked you in the shape of a symbol that represents me. It also gave you my essence.”

  “Your essence?”

  “I am literally a part of you now, Amara.” He smiled softly. “As you are a part of me.” He lifted my hand to the side of his face; stroking my fingertip along his temple and near one amethyst eye. “We have exchanged pieces of ourselves.”

  “Holy shit,” I whispered. “That sounds permanent.”

  His expression went hard and guarded. “It is. Does that upset you?”

  “I don't know... I need some time to think—” I moaned as my back arched. “Malik!”

  “It's just the claiming.” He held me tighter and moaned as a shiver rocked through him as well.

  “What's happening?” I clutched him to me and kissed him before he could answer.

  “The venom,” he murmured between kisses. “It's settling inside you. Finishing the claiming and binding us together.”

  “I feel so...”

  “The mark will take us.” Malik rolled over and surged into me. “I'm sorry if I'm too rough. I can't... fuck!”

  Malik roared and thrust into me. It wasn't too rough; I craved every slam of his hips. My fingers curved into his back like claws; digging in and drawing him closer. My mind tried to work through it; figure out exactly what was happening to me. What we'd done. But I couldn't focus.

  “Malik!”

  The night became drenched in lust; a titanic surge that filled my body and claimed my mind. My neck kept throbbing as if it were a far more intimate place on my body, but this erogenous zone affected my mind as well. My vision narrowed to only Malik; his eyes glowing with arousal, his hands clenched on my body, his mouth hot on my skin, and his cock hard inside me. The salt of sweat and tang of blood spiced our kisse
s. My body ran with inner flames that licked me in places that Malik's tongue could never reach. I consumed and was consumed.

  Malik was everywhere; untiring and unstoppable. Utterly relentless. His body filled me and stroked me in every way that a man can. Flashes of us together haunted me even as we continued to make love. My thighs bracketing his face; his tongue thrusting and licking and his gaze locked on mine. His hands in my hair as he slammed into me from behind. I rode him as images of him pushing my breasts over his cock taunted me. He wrapped my hands around his manhood and thrust into them like a mindless beast. He fucked the crook of my elbows and knees, my armpits, and the globes of my ass. He even wrapped the soles of my feet around himself. He was mad with lust. I have never been so completely taken. And have never taken so completely in return.

  I bit and licked my way over his body; took Malik in my mouth and rubbed his skin with my sex. I teased him with my breasts; drawing them over his back and thighs before tickling him with my nipples. I did things with him and to him that I'd never even imagined doing before.

  And between these savage bursts of primal passion, Malik would hold me and try to explain what was happening to us. His mark on my neck was a direct link to him. Not like the link he had with his father; this was far more intimate. I would feel his emotions through the mark; his pleasure, anger, and even his power. I was stronger now. I could feel it already. The mark was meant to give Bleiten women protection even when their mvarro wasn't with them.

  But it was all happening too fast. Beneath the pleasure was pure panic. I loved Malik but was I ready for the Bleiten version of marriage? No. How could I be? We hadn't even been together half a year, and now we were connected more intimately than any ceremony could make us. I shivered in fear beneath the trembling rapture. If things went wrong with us, would I be able to leave him? I hated feeling trapped. But I loved Malik.

  I started to speak, but then the pleasure rushed over us again.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  The Sun rose on our tangled limbs, wild hair, and swollen lips. My hand slipped languorously down Malik's body as I tried to remember my misgivings. It was hard to do with him pressed against me; his sex nestled between my thighs as if it were simply waiting for the strength to surge into me again. I shivered as flashes of the night seared my mind. The mark on the back of my neck pulsed with warm, purring satisfaction as Malik stirred. His arms pulled me against his chest, and I listened contentedly to the steady heartbeat beneath.

  “Are you all right?” His voice was husky-honey; sweet and rough all at once.

  I shivered and considered tasting that honey. Then it hit me. Mvarra! Was I married? Had I just done the Bleiten equivalent of running off to Vegas? What was Landry going to say? And Davorin and Kyrian; they would be hurt. But this was my life so the most important question was; how did I feel about it?

  Blissful. Furious. Hopeful. Terrified. Overjoyed. I couldn't focus on any one emotion. My mind swam in confusion. Could this mark be removed? Were we stuck together forever even if I—as usual—screwed things up? Would Malik hate me eventually? Did he hate me now? He had every right to. As much as I wanted to blame this on him, I remembered him trying to stop me; trying to warn me. Malik hadn't wanted this. Oh, fuck my life; he tried to stop me, and I pushed and pushed until he had no control. I had done this and that made it even harder to bear.

  “Why are you frowning at me?” Malik asked hesitantly.

  “Sorry; I was lost for a second,” I muttered as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

  “Never again.” He pulled me against his chest. “Now, I can find you, Mvarra.”

  “You can?” I pulled back far enough to see his face. “Anywhere?”

  “Anywhere.” He smiled smugly at me. “Another benefit of my mark.”

  “Will I feel your emotions constantly?”

  “No; once the mark settles, you'll only feel extreme emotions from me. I'll be able to share my love for you and also warn you in case of any trouble.”

  “Trouble?” I asked warily. “As in your anger?”

  “That's not what I meant. I would never hurt you, Amara,” he chided me. “A Bleiten mating mark is primarily about protection. I share my power with you through it, but I can also warn you if I need you to run.”

  “Wow,” I whispered. What was Bleiten life like that they had evolved to have a way to tell their mates to run for their lives? It made my skin shiver to think about it. And it also made me lift my chin. “I'm not the sort of woman who would run away and leave you to fight alone.”

  “I know, and I love that about you,” he smiled adoringly at me. “I'm just telling you what the mark's purpose is.”

  Malik's hand rubbed the back of my neck and it sent zings of pleasure through my body. I moaned and went liquid, but this wasn't the mindless lust of the night before; I had control of my desire again. I breathed in deeply with relief and pushed away from him.

  “Amara?” Malik searched my eyes.

  “This was too fast,” I whispered.

  My neck tightened with a sharp twinge. I gasped, and Malik's hand went to his mark apologetically.

  “I'm sorry, my love; I'll have to work on holding back my more painful emotions,” Malik murmured.

  “Painful?” I whispered.

  “You're having regrets,” he said simply. “You don't think that would cause me pain?”

  “I didn't say it to hurt you,” I stammered. “You didn't want this either; you tried to stop me.”

  “And I told you afterward that I would have done this differently; I would have prepared you for it,” Malik explained. “But I did want this. I've made it clear from the beginning that I believe we're fated. We would have come to this point eventually.”

  “But you couldn't have wanted this kind of a commitment this soon,” I protested.

  Malik growled and sat up. My neck burned, and I hissed. He hung his head and closed his eyes briefly. The pain vanished.

  “This is a lot, Malik,” I said gently. “A mark that forces me to feel your emotions? That you can use to find me? I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I would have agreed to it if you had explained it beforehand. For fuck's sake; you marked me like cattle.”

  “Cattle?” He snarled.

  My neck flared again, and I moaned.

  “Fuck!” Malik pulled me against his chest and rubbed his mark soothingly. “I'm sorry. I can't control... damn it all, Amara! Do you truly think that of me? That I would mark you like property?”

  “No,” I whispered against his chest. “No; I'm sorry. I can't think straight right now.”

  Malik sighed deeply. “I understand. It must be confusing for you. But there's one truth that we can cling to; one thing that I know you are as certain of as I am. We love each other.”

  I looked up at him and released my breath. He was amazing; wildly attractive, strong, vibrant, wickedly intelligent, and so very loyal. What was I worried about? Why wasn't I jumping with joy to be bound to him? For eternity. There. That was it. Forever is a long time to bind yourself to someone if you're not absolutely certain that they are the one for you. Was I certain? I was certain that I loved him, but how long would that last? Forever? I just didn't know. Frankly, the odds were against it.

  Malik watched the emotions flit across my face; his own growing darker as his mark started to burn. “I cannot remove the mark, Amara. It's there to stay. You must accept this.”

  “I must accept this?” I snapped and pushed away from him. “Do you think this thing gives you control over me?”

  “That's not what I meant,” he growled and my skin burned hotter.

  “Stop it!” I hissed at him. “Get your shit together, Malik! Then we can talk about this.”

  I got out of bed; my legs trembling a moment but then going strong and steady. Thank you, Amaranthine Elixir. Or was it Malik's strength combined with the Elixir that gave me such speedy recuperation? I felt refreshed even though I hadn't slept a wink; had in fact spent the nigh
t in strenuous pursuit of passion.

  “We're talking about this now, Mvarra!”

  “Don't call me that!”

  “Damn it all! I love you! Why is this so horrible?”

  “Because I'm the one with a fucking crown branded on the back of my neck, not you!”

  “You want to mark me in return? Is that it?” Malik snarled as he slid out of bed and stalked over to me. “Find a blade, my love. Pick your piece of flesh.” He held his arms out. “My body belongs to you now. Do what you will with it but do not turn away from me.”

  I crumpled. Malik caught me. Tears were pouring out of me, and I couldn't stop them. I wanted to be angry at him but it was damn impossible to do when he was so understanding and so damn barbarically romantic.

 

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