Anthem of Ashes: Book 9 in the Spellsinger Series Page 7

  “What the fuck?” I whispered to him.

  “Told you; pussy-whipped,” Raph whispered back. “This is the god version.”

  Then the rest of us turned to stare at Lucifer.

  The RS made the sound of a whip cracking in my mind.

  “What?” Lucifer asked innocently.

  “How many women have you altered to look like me?” I asked with barely contained irritation.

  “A few.” He shrugged and then added, “Dozen. You made yourself clear when you left, Elaria. I knew there would be no romance between us, at least not anytime soon.”

  “Not anytime ever,” Darcraxis corrected, and the other men agreed.

  “So, I found women to satisfy my needs,” Lucifer continued as if Darc hadn't spoken. “Where's the harm in that? The women all agreed to my terms and, as I pointed out to Delilah, they were visibly improved. All improvements paid for by me, I might add.”

  “So, now there are a bunch of Elarias running around,” I grumbled angrily.

  “They may look like you, but they aren't you,” Lucifer said morosely. “I can't replicate your soul, Elaria.”

  “Well, get used to settling for second-best, Luci,” Banning snapped. “Because you aren't getting my wife.”

  Lucifer narrowed his eyes at Banning, and I groaned. It had just gone too far. Lucifer was good at brushing off most irritations. He did it with the cool ease of a god. Gods don't care about the braying of mortals. Not until they bray something that hits a god-nerve. Then it's fucking Armageddon.

  “I will have her companionship at the very least,” Lucifer declared. “And I will have it to myself. That is the price of my tutelage.”

  “You had to push him,” I growled at Banning.

  Yep, you fucked up, my beautiful bloodsucker, RS tsked.

  My men cursed; they knew we couldn't refuse, and they knew this new situation was their fault.

  “We aren't leaving Heaven,” Darc finally said. “But you may teach her alone.”

  “Accepted,” Lucifer said then turned a gleeful smile on me. “Let's get your lovers settled, and then we can get started.”

  Chapter Nine

  “I freed the slaves in Erotic Alley for you,” Lucifer announced as we settled on our usual stone bench, along the edge of the rooftop garden.

  He'd added more plants. Glazed pots in an array of colors and sizes overflowed with flowering vines, bushes, and even trees. They crowded the cream stone floor in artful arrangements, forming a winding path, and climbed grand columns to swing over arches. The smell of ripe fruit competed with exotic blooms. It imparted tranquility and reminded me a lot of the Garden of Eden where Lucifer grew his mind-controlling Fruit of Knowledge. I'd been enjoying the peace, despite the similarities to Eden, until he said that bit about the slaves. Then I jolted upright in shock.

  “You did what?” My stare shot immediately toward the naughty section of the city.

  “I've outlawed slavery in Heaven.” He grinned like a child who had done something praiseworthy. “The sex clubs and other entertainments are still there; I see no harm in all of that so long as all parties are willing. But the slaves have been returned to the home planets they were taken from.”

  “What about Redemption?” I asked. “You said the Host needs the blood. That without an outlet for their violence, they'll go looking for a fight on other planets.”

  “Angels now participate in the gladiatorial events.” His grin turned devious. “It's even better than before. The Host gets to root for their chosen champion, the champions get to work out their pent up aggression, and the winner gets a share of the profits.”

  “Do they kill each other?” I asked in horror.

  “Oh, no! Of course not,” Lucifer protested. “Although the fights do get very bloody, we always have healers on standby, and the winner only has to incapacitate his opponent, not kill him.”

  “Oh.” I blinked. “I suppose that is a brilliant solution; making them responsible for satisfying all of their needs. I'm proud of you, Lucifer. Well done.”

  “Thank you.” He nodded as if I'd given the expected response. “Now, tell me why controlling your Light has become so imperative.”

  “I've been having nightmares,” I confessed. “I think it's my subconscious warning me. I need to learn to control the magic before it hurts the people I love.”

  Lucifer studied me for a moment and then nodded. “Then we shall delve into the Light together and harness it for you.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered. “I know this isn't easy for you; me showing up here with all of my men.”

  “Nonsense.” He shook his head. “I'm delighted to see you, with or without them. You're always welcome here, Elaria.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  He wants you so bad I can smell his ball-sacks clenching! RS cried gleefully.

  First of all; gross. Second; you have no nose. Third; clenching does not produce a scent, Kyanite retorted.

  It does when it's ball-sacks clenching.

  Do I really have to tell you two when I need quiet in my head? I snarled.

  Sorry, they both said and then went quiet.

  “We'll start small.” Lucifer moved to straddle the bench and face me.

  Suddenly, he seemed bigger; his spread stance taking up more space. It also opened him to me in an intimate way; a vulnerable way, like a cat exposing its belly. I was probably being overly-sensitive and reading too much into the casual pose. So, I ignored my unease and mimicked him, settling my skirts around me. Lucifer cupped his hands and set them on the bench between us. An orb of light the size of a plum flickered to life in the bowl of his palms.

  “Now, you try it,” he said. “Simply concentrate on the sphere I've formed and command your magic to create your own.

  I settled my shoulders and released the tension in them as I released my breath. Anxiety clung to me tenaciously, leaving a residual chill behind as I forced it out. The cold transferred down to my hands, and I had to shake them free before I cupped them and concentrated on Lucifer's sphere. Inside me, I felt my Light respond. It expanded inside my chest and filled my arms; brilliant energy saturating my flesh down to my fingertips. Within my palms, the Light collected and formed a glowing pea that grew into a plum. I looked up at Lucifer with a grin.

  “Good.” Lucifer's smile was proud and affectionate. “Let's add a little more.”

  His sphere grew until it filled his hands. I followed his lead, the steady beating of my heart guiding me. Thud. Thud. Thud. My Light brightened inside me with every pulse of power I released. The beat filled my whole body. Resonant. Powerful. Not my heartbeat, after all. This was the heart of my magic, finally responding to me; loving me back. Awareness exploded like fireworks. This was beyond what Shava had taught me; beyond the need of all things for love. I wasn't a mother to this magic; I didn't give birth to it. It had taken shape with me. A twin in the womb of the endless space. No; a triplet.

  Light and Fire had come into being with me; at the very same moment. Our separation may have forced me into a spiritual awakening but it had wounded them; weakened, confused, and angered them. When we were reunited, they had rejoiced and run rampant like freed tigers. But I had forced the tigers back in their cage, with bars wide enough for only their paws to reach through. And those deadly claws would tear apart anything that got too close.

  Except for another tiger.

  Once I approached my magic with affection, our relationship had reformed. The tigers had extended their paws in friendship instead of fury and had changed from separate entities working against me to allies bonded to me. If I could just take it a step further and merge my soul with these magics, three tigers would become one. One giant, badass predator. They were my siblings, but I was the eldest; I had to guide us. Watch over us. I offered my guidance and love to the Light, and it accepted.

  The orb grew to fit my cupped hands perfectly.

  “Now, let's change its characteristics,” Lucifer suggested. “Your tro
uble seems to come when you alter temperature, especially when you let your Light heat up. Based on that, I believe we should start with cool and work our way to hot.”

  His sphere crusted over with ice crystals, turning the light into a solid ball.

  I focused on the sensation of cold and directed it at my light sphere. Not into my Light as a whole, just the sphere we'd created together. The orb turned a frigid blue and then a sheen formed over its surface; a glassy layer of ice. I pushed harder; trying for crystals like Lucifer had achieved. Cold burst over my chest, the chill radiating outward until ice crystals finally formed... over my hands. I gasped as the cold went deep; past skin and tissue and even bones. Into my marrow. Flash frozen like a fucking fish stick.

  “Sister,” I whispered.

  The Light ain't your fucking sister! RS shouted inside me. Crack a whip on that bitch's ass!

  Shut up, you moron! Kyanite growled. My love, tame the tiger. Open your heart instead of withdrawing. Let it bleed you; the blood will bind you together even more strongly.

  “Elaria!” Lucifer's hands were suddenly on my shoulders, shaking me.

  I didn't know what to do; couldn't think past the cold. Numb all over. Mind numb too. Fire withered beneath the onslaught; whimpered into a black seed. Freezing breath formed ice with every exhale, tiny hailstones falling into my cupped hands. Lucifer yanked me into his arms as he pushed his magic inside me, but it couldn't penetrate the frozen shell of my Light.

  Warm lips covered mine and pressed into a tight seal. Light burst into my mouth, pushed there by his searing tongue and driven down my throat with desperation. Lucifer's magic called to mine as it had once before; luring it into mingling. His power twisted and twirled inside me, filling every cell until I couldn't tell what was his and what was mine. My Fire felt Lucifer's emotions and responded to it. Instead of quenching the heat, as my Light magic was trying to do, Lucifer called it forth and embraced it. Embraced the magic he feared; the heat that had weakened and imprisoned him for thousands of years. He braved his greatest vulnerability so he could draw my Fire forth. Lucifer dove into the flames to save my life.

  Heat, blessed warmth, filled my body with a volcanic eruption of emotion and energy. I arched into Lucifer's embrace and pulled him closer. For one long, tumultuous moment, I reveled in Fire and Light; my Fire and his Light. I let it wash over me as I drowned myself in a kiss that was suddenly more about passion than magic. And then I remembered who I was kissing.

  “Fuck!” I cursed as I pushed away from him.

  Lucifer stared at me warily, his lips swollen from our kiss, his skin flushed from my flames, and his eyes shadowed by more than lashes.

  “I did it to help you,” he whispered.

  “I know.” I held up a hand. “That wasn't your fault. You knew what would bring back my heat, and you used it to save me. I get it. I'm deeply grateful for it. But I shouldn't have kept that kiss going once I'd been revived.”

  “Perhaps not,” Lucifer agreed. “But if I may point something out?”

  “Sure.” I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face. “Why not? I just abused your friendship and the sacrifice you made to help me. Say whatever you like, Lucifer, you're entitled to that at the very least.”

  “You did not abuse me,” he said firmly. “I will treasure those few moments of abandon. You made the pain worthwhile.”

  I stared at him, my throat constricting with emotion, and finally nodded. “As you like. What did you want to point out?”

  “You are in control, Elaria.” Lucifer waved an elegant hand at me. “The last time this happened, I had to stop you before we went too far. This time, you stopped yourself.”

  I blinked. He was right.

  “What about your goddess magic?” He asked. “Check on both of them.”

  I turned my attention inward and found both Fire and Light settled back into their places; the tigers withdrawn from the bars and lying in wait. It may have been a violent start but it gave me hope. I was learning; just what I had come here to do. Maybe someday, I could remove the cages entirely. Free the tigers. Free myself.

  “I'm good,” I said in surprise.

  “I think this proves your fire teacher's theory,” Lucifer concluded. “You've been working on your Fire magic and it has paid off. It obeyed you when you bid it to withdraw. Now, we just need to do the same for your Light.”

  “Hopefully, we'll be able to do that without kissing again.” I grimaced at him.

  “Your hopes differ greatly from mine.” Lucifer smiled mischievously.

  Ball-sack smell, RS whispered.

  Chapter Ten

  Miraculously, Lucifer and I made it through the rest of our session without incident, further groping, or input from my internal peanut gallery. It wasn't nearly as exhausting as my work with Shava had been either. Still, by the time we were through, I was more than ready to go home.

  “This was a good start,” Lucifer said as we headed back downstairs, into the palace. “I'd ask you to stay so we could work on it daily, but I'm assuming that isn't an option.”

  “No; that would cause more problems than it's worth. Plus, I have to return to Kyanite and work with my other teacher.”

  “Who is this mysterious fire tutor?”

  “She's a phoenix,” I said with a grin.

  “A phoenix?” Lucifer's eyes widened. “How wonderful! I've never met one.”

  “They are very charismatic, magically so, and Shava, in particular, is exceptionally beautiful.” I grinned broadly. “You'd undoubtedly adore her; I should introduce you.”

  “Well, I don't know about that,” he murmured with a glance at me. “My heart is set upon another.”

  Boom! Called it! RS yelled.

  “All right, that's enough.” I stopped walking and turned to face him. “What the fuck, Lucifer?”

  He gaped at me.

  “When I left, you were a little sad, yes, but I thought you'd move on. Making replacement Elarias and holding onto your affection for me is not moving on. You need to let this go.”

  “Affection?” Lucifer made a self-deprecating laugh. “Have you forgotten everything that happened between us? Do you not recall how I chose love instead of power? Love for you, Elaria. I gave up my Devil so that I wouldn't hurt you anymore. You conquered the evil in my soul.”

  “You said you did that for yourself,” I whispered.

  “I did, in part,” he agreed. “I'm a better man without him screeching and clawing inside me. But without you, I never would have realized that. You saved me. You changed me. And that has branded you onto my heart. If I can't have you, then I must ease the burn in any way that I can. I'm not trying to pressure you or take you away from your lovers. I could never be one of them, even if they accepted me. I'm too much of a god to ever share a woman.”

  “Darcraxis is a god, and he does just fine.” I don't even know why I said it; the last role I needed to play was Devil's Advocate. Oh, the irony.

  “Darcraxis is a god who was married to you. One bound to you from the beginning of time. As much as I love you, I know my love does not come close to his. Yet another mark against me and another barb in my heart. But we are what we are, and I've accepted that you and I are not meant to be.”

  “Good.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “I'm glad you see that, and I hope you can move past this soon.”

  “Perhaps I will be able to move past it, as you say. Perhaps the brand will eventually heal and scar. But destiny or not, I love you, my dearest one. Nothing will change that.”

  “I'm so sorry, Lucifer.”

  Why did I feel so awful? This guy had done horrible things to me before he'd changed. Any pain he felt was not my fault; I had never encouraged his affections, not willingly. Now, Lucifer was paying a price for his sins and, all things considered, it wasn't a steep one. But instead of feeling as if I'd saved him, I felt as if he'd saved me. Lucifer and Satan had been two separate entities, as Faenestra and I had been. Except he was at peace with his other self
, or at least in harmony. But then the Devil had orchestrated a prison break, using me to open his cell, and Lucifer was faced with a dilemma. He liked me, but his other half only wanted to abuse me. It was love that saved Lucifer, not me. Love showed him Satan's true nature and love gave Lucifer the strength and the desire to fight the Devil and win. And, just as he said, he did it for me. To save me from Satan. So, yeah, I felt bad for him. Not guilty but sympathetic. I didn't want Lucifer suffering.

  “Why are you sorry?” Lucifer asked in surprise. “Love is something I never thought to feel. And it is glorious, Elaria. It lightens the soul. Yes, I would like to share it with you, but I don't need you to validate my feelings for me. Love does not need to be reciprocated to be great. Can I not simply bask in the beauty of such a profound, pure emotion? Isn't that, in itself, miraculous? Heartbreak is brutal, but it's a pain that makes me feel alive as I have never been before and there is hope in it. If I can feel this for you, then I might be able to feel it for someone else. You gave me that, sweetheart. After I abused you horribly, you opened my heart to love.” He smiled softly, adoringly. “That is the act of a true goddess, and I will always be grateful to you for your kindness. Your most loyal acolyte. Anything that I can do for you, my dearest, I will. You only have to ask.”